Meant For Me
by gnails
Summary: Misao's gone and Aoshi pines for her, sinking even deeper in misery. He decides to visit her one more time. Oneshot, songfic


I should tell you (the readers) that this is my first RK fic, so do beware of any mistakes partaking the grammar, spelling and story and in case of any OOCness. Reviews are welcomed! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or the song "You Were Meant For Me" by Jewel.

**

Meant For Me 

            The sun's rays poured over a blanket-covered figure lying on a futon in a room of the Aoiya. Brightness contrasted to the man's physical features, black hair and handsomely cold blue eyes. Months before, he would have awakened to Misao's cheery voice, but now the Aoiya was desolate, empty with haunting memories. 

            Shinomori Aoshi had gotten up, washed and then changed. He walked to the kitchen, setting himself down upon his cushion, and then stared at the breakfast that was presented in front of him. A simple meal of rice and miso soup. He nodded his head in acknowledgement of Okina and the others. In return, they gave some sort of nonverbal greeting, letting the silence get the better of them. Aoshi shifted the rice around, watching the white grains shift positions. For the last few days, Aoshi had lost his appetite. Not caring about the weakness and frailty that was beginning to catch onto him due to the lack of nutrition and the endless hours of sweating, toiling, training and grieving. 

            Aoshi dismissed himself from the table, and then walked through the long corridors of the Aoiya. He passed his room in a daze as his body unconsciously brought him in front of the most unlikely of person's room.

_Hear the clock, it's 6am_

_I feel so far away from where I've been_

_Got my eggs, and my pancakes too_

_Got my maple syrup, everything but you_

_I break the yolks and make a smiley face_

Misao's room.

Aoshi slid the shoji open and stepped in, gazing at the room. Dust had already begun to form on the furniture, and everything was in neat order like that months ago. Time was standing still in that room just like time was standing still for him. 

Aoshi got out Misao's Oniwanbanshu uniform. His finger traced the edges, the hems and stitches. There was a rip in the cloth that was never mended, just like there was a gash in his heart that could never be stitched. Aoshi let the uniform slip through his fingers, dropping to the ground in a crumpled pile like water hitting earth. 

He peered out the window, and noticed the change in weather. No longer was the sun shining down, but the sky was blotched with dark gray clouds. 

It was going to rain.

_I kinda like it in my brand new place _

_I wipe the spots off of the mirror_

_Don't leave the keys in the door_

Never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause 

            He swiftly walked outside to the world, his trench coat swishing to his every stride. He made his way through the bustling crowds of Kyoto, hearing the chatter, laughter, yelling from all of the people. He could hear the street vendors selling off items, he could smell the aroma of food coming from a restaurant and he could see all the people on the street. 

            He could see the sky darkening.

            High noon had come, and the sun's rays were fogged by the gray sky. His stomach was urging him to run into the nearest restaurant and eat as much food as he could. But Aoshi had more self-restraint and inconspicuously walked into the restaurant. By the time he had settled himself in, he had lost his appetite once again. 

            He was weary and the bags underneath his eyes were signs of proof for his lack of only a few hours of sleep per a week, and nearly no food. His back curved and slouched. His senses were getting duller by the day, yet sharper. He seemed tired, but alert. He leaned out, his elbows resting on the table and his forehead resting in his hands. It had been difficult for months and it seemed to get harder. 

Because Misao was gone.

_Dreams last so long_

_Even after you're gone_

_I know, that you love me_

_And soon you will see_

_You were meant for me_

And I was meant for you 

            Could he face her once again? Say sorry for the reasons he left? Could he, would he be able to, pour out his heart to her? But more importantly, would she listen? He pondered even more about questions related to his situation.

            The voice of the waitress snapped him out of his thoughts. He had to order something. If he didn't, he would look like an idiot. So he ordered tea, bringing back painful memories of time when Misao had brought tea to him, wherever he was, in his room or in the temple meditating. 

            He straightened himself up, looking presentable to the people in the restaurant; he was the okashira of the Oniwanbanshu after all. 

But, why?

            He thought to himself. Why was he in this restaurant, pining over a lover who had left him? He should be somewhere else, drinking his heart out, and then wandering all over Kyoto, searching for Misao. Aoshi smirked inwardly, he knew better than to get drunk, and he knew where Misao was. But he hadn't visited Misao for the many months since she had left.

            He listened to the gossiping of some women near him. The snippets of the conversation led the ninja to hear about a love story that didn't end well. Just like his. 

            As he continued to listen, he heard more stories, some about a wedding happening, a murder nearby and a young lady that had been cheated by her fiancée. He sipped his tea while the women continued on and on.

_Called my momma, she was out for a walk_

_Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk_

_Picked up a paper, it was more bad news_

More hearts being broken or people being used 

            Aoshi set the money for his tea on the table, and made his way outside. He was surprised to see that it was raining, a medium down poor of raindrops. Since he was so engrossed into his thoughts and the women's stories, he had never noticed the pitter-pattering of water hitting roof. The rain and dark sky seemed to suit his emotions perfectly, making the day even better for him. 

            His feet led him to a bridge, the arched form craning over the water. Aoshi looked down at the water watching the endless ripples. His distorted reflection looked back at him with the same weary eyes, stoic façade and underneath it all, a face formed from the despair and wailing. 

            Aoshi squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face in his callused hands. He wanted to shut out that face, the despair, the sorrow and all of the turmoil that went on endlessly. He wanted to get rid of it all, he _needed_ to get rid of it all. He looked upwards to the sky, his hair plastered to his head and the drops of water dropping and sliding off his face and wet body. He stretched his arms to the sky, waiting for the ceaseless sky to take him. He wanted to forget, he wanted to be lost, but he could never forget her.

_Put on my coat in the pouring rain_

_Saw a movie it just wasn't the same_

_'Cause it was happy and I was sad_

It made me miss you oh so bad 

            He walked on, onto the roads where people sought refuge from the rain. Everywhere he looked, there were always couples. Young girls and boys playing in the puddles of rain, young lovers with only eyes for their mate, a mother and father watching their children and an elderly couple still holding hands after so many years. He walked slowly, staring at all of the people rushing indoors. Never had he felt so alone, and never had he wished so hard for Misao to be by his side, the one meant for him.

            But the one meant for him was gone. She had left him. 

            He dawned upon the realization that he had to be with her one last time, to find peace, consolation and to love her once again. She will know that he loves her, finally she will know.

_Dreams last so long_

_Even after you're gone_

_I know, that you love me_

_And soon you will see_

_You were meant for me_

And I was meant for you 

            A spark of energy exploded throughout Aoshi, spreading through his body and to the tip of his limbs. He ran inhumanly fast, looking for the vendor that had sold flowers. He was praying that it was still out and open despite the rain. 

            He stopped, huffing for more air. Right in front of him was the vendor and a variety of flowers. Aoshi asked for a small bouquet of dark blue flowers, reminding him of Misao's eyes. The vendor handed him the bouquet, and in return, Aoshi handed him the money. Aoshi thanked the vendor and then began to find the direction to Misao's. 

            He stopped and looked at the flowers; the droplets of rain ornamented the flowers' dark velvety leaves. His lips curved into a small smile, remembering Misao's sparkle of happiness in her eyes. Aoshi closed his eyes, seeing Misao, at first her eyes, then her face, her long braided hair, and then her petite body. She opened her arms, welcoming Aoshi to her warmth. His hand reached out to touch her cheek, but he felt nothing, as her image faded away. Nothing but the air and rain. 

            His arm slowly fell limp to his side. The bouquet of flowers began to lose some petals, slowly falling to the ground. A fragile petal could be seen in all of the muddy puddles and the dark ground. Aoshi stepped on them, crushing them under his foot. He began to laugh at all of it, first a small rumbling in his throat then full-fledged laughing. But when he laughed, one could tell that something was off, his deep voice pierced the winds and rain. He laughed at the irony of it all, Misao had always missed him from the many years he was gone. And now it was he missing her, after all those years. What was he going to say? "Oh Misao, everything has been fine like it was Hell and I miss you! By the way, I love you." 

            Fate was toying with him oh so cruelly. 

_Go about my business, I'm doing fine_

_Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line_

_Same old story, not much to say_

Hearts are broken every day 

            _Laugh at it all, Shinomori Aoshi. _He thought as his deep voice laughed, stabbing at the thick air and the dropping water that clogged his mind. _Laugh all you want because you're alone. Ha, you're all alone…_

            The same ghastly, cruel voice echoed in his troubled mind endlessly. Mocking him, taunting him. _All alone, all alone, all alone_. That voice was he, slapping him with a sting of the harsh reality. 

_She's gone Shinomori, and there is nothing you can do about it._

He wanted to drop to his knees and sob, but his dignity, his pride, wouldn't allow him. He clenched the stems of the flowers with white knuckles as he got up. He was fooling himself. There was no way possible that Misao would care. If only…

Aoshi-sama… 

            He swayed at the sound of Misao's voice. Was she here? Was she there to save him? Aoshi chuckled to himself because he thought was going insane. He stumbled unsteadily to Kami knows where, only to find himself deep in a forest. 

            He breathed in the outdoor scent of trees and the moist earth, watered by the oncoming rain. The rain blurred his vision as he tried to make out his surroundings, for anything or anyone familiar…like Misao.

_Brush my teeth and put the cap back on_

_I know you hate it when I leave the light on_

I pick up a book, Turn the sheets down 

_Take a deep breath and a good look around_

            Aoshi's lip trembled as he spotted a lone figure through out all of the rain, its unclear silhouette contrasting with the deep green. His cold figure gathered whatever energy that he had left as he took a wobbly step toward. 

Put on my pj's and hop into bed 

            He felt the oncoming rain and noticed, that the falling drops were becoming lighter. The clouds were beginning to lose their grayness. He took another step forward.

I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead 

            He took another step, but the figure was still too far away.

I try and tell myself it'll be all right 

            He tried with much effort to quicken his pace, but he was too tired. The next steps seemed like miles, but he continued on, all for the sake of Misao. 

            The raining was beginning to cease.

I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 

            He stopped to look at the figure in front of him. Tears began to pain his eyes, his lip quavered, and he spoke in a shaky voice.

"M-Misao…I…I m-miss you."

            The clouds broke and the sun shone patches of light, rays beamed down the forest giving it an ethereal atmosphere. The shadowy features of the figure were beginning to become more defined.

            But the figure was not that of a person, but a large stone with the likeness of a person molded in it. Aoshi laid the flowers at the foot of the stone. He watched the petals delicately ornate the ground with blue petals. He looked up, his fingers tracing the name of his beloved.

_Dreams last so long_

_Even after you're gone_

_I know, that you love me_

_And soon you will see_

_You were meant for me_

And I was meant for you 

Makimachi Misao.

_You were meant for me_

And I was meant for you… **Aoshi-sama…**

**Owari.**

**

A/N: Hello!!

Now this was my first RK fanfic, so pleeeease have mercy on this unworthy one! I do probably need to work on my writing and the fact is that it seems that I was dragging it along, ne?

Hope you enjoyed it!


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